So what does it mean to form “your own theology”? Are we even allowed to do that? I would say yes, we are, and so would my MDiv1 toting, experienced preacher dad. He was known for telling congregants, bible study participants, and his own kids “you have to form your own theology.” You have to know what YOU believe about God for yourself. You can attend corporate worship, study the holy scriptures, listen to your pastor or other spiritual leader, follow all the cool theologians2 on the socials, etc… but until YOU know what YOU believe, it is hard to commit to follow God wholeheartedly, to feel “all in.” What others tell you to believe means nothing until you have experienced what you believe yourself.
And contrary to what we might have always heard, what I believe about God and what you believe about God might not always agree, and that really is OK. It sounds great, until you get called out on it, as I was on a Sunday several years ago…
“Well, he believes it.” Those were the words dad said to me after my long rant about our sermon that day. The pastor had preached about how his child had had bad dreams because of a movie and he and his wife prayed with the child that the “demons” who were giving her bad dreams would leave her alone. Having had some issues with fear of the evil spirit world myself (more on that in a later post), I was horrified that this pastor attributed bad dreams, which we all have for various reasons, to demons, and that he would tell his small child that is where her dreams came from.
I learned not to fear “satan” or evil, or whatever name you give it, from my dad. He would never have attributed bad dreams to a demon and prayed over me for healing; he would’ve said, “Hey, you’re good, it’s a bad dream, we all get them” and prayed with me for a good night’s sleep, AFTER listening to my concerns and simple talking to me about how movies can sometimes give us bad dreams. SO, I was expecting my dad to join me on my soapbox of righteous indignation, that this message was being preached from the pulpit of our church.
But, no. He leaned back in his chair, looked at me over his glasses, and calmly said, “Well, he believes it.” Just those four words.
Since my dad was the fount of all wisdom to me, and could get pretty worked up in theological discussions, his answer drew me up short. Wasn’t he going to pontificate about how the Bible says “NOW is the spirit of this world driven out,” (John 12:28) and remind me not to flatter evil with too much attention? Wasn’t he going to share my irritation that evil spirits were the focus of a sermon in our faith tradition? And that perfectly normal nightmares were being blamed on demonic forces?
Nope. He reminded me with his calm, measured reaction that we all develop our own theology, and therefore must respect others in their beliefs- even those with whom we disagree. I was SO SURE I was right, so convinced that Dad would see it my way and join in my indignation. And he didn’t. What a letdown, right?
Turns out you can still learn from your parents at 50+ years old.
I think we all forget, whether we are discussing faith issues, politics, or who is the best team in college football, that as strongly as we hold our beliefs, there are others, who are just as worthy as we are in God’s sight, who are just as earnest in their strongly-held beliefs as we are, and that even if they believe the opposite, it doesn’t mean they are wrong, or bad, or doomed.
They have just had different experiences than we have.
God doesn’t love me more or less because I don’t pay much attention to talk of demons. But, guess what… And THIS is what trips us up…. He doesn’t love anyone else more or less for their beliefs, either.
Think about that. God knows your life, your experiences, your world, your heart. God is able to hold a LOT of space- I daresay as much as you need- to let you question, search, and learn about God’s gracious love for you.
I would love to hear your thoughts!
Master of Divinity
my friends Clay and Ross at Armchair Theo are a good start. Also, I have learned so much from Pete Enns. He is here on Substack, a great follow on the Insta , has written several excellent books, and co-hosts a podcast called The Bible for Normal People.